2004-05-29 - 12:50 a.m.
Kinda weird when you draw blood and no longer wish to see it fall. Your head spins with nausia as you think about how far you have taken it before and are glad that you can't do it like that anymore. You've gone soft and you know it. You have nothing to rely on anymore when you know you've taken a step back.
When the room is spinning and your head is floating you wonder how long you can keep it up before any one notices. When your secrets become known what can you do but make up new ones.
I guess when you come to a certain crossroad your first inclination is to take the easiest way out, but sometimes the easiest way out is the hardest way back in. NOt to mention all the crossroads. It is easy to get lost hwen you know they way there but not the way back. How do you know you wont enjoy it so much that you won't want to go back. You forget all morals and roll with whatever ball falls at your feet. If it happens to have an extra spin.. wooohoo!
Enough. I've had enough with judgement. It sucks to feel insignificant and life is so damn confusing when you can't win that you wonder why you continue to float down the river of whatever it is your on today. Sometimes things amount to something greater then what you like to think and the pressure fills up so much you need extra holes to release, when you can't make the holes yourself you turn to others, maybe their stabbing and jeering will make you realize that you have enough holes in you to drain your system.
prev / next