2004-06-13 - 12:59 a.m.
The union of one thing can bring another crashing to the ground way before you think it is time.
I spent a lot of time thinking lately. I'm not sure what i think about, I try to let it all blend together so i don't have to dwell on the thoughts that I put together later. They scare me anyway, the things I think about, sometimes my mind takes control and runs away with my emotions. I don't have a handle on things. I wish I did, but the cold truth is that I don't. I don't know who I am or what I want anymore.
I surprise myself more and more often. Usually with little things, like a thought or a small meaningless action. I guess lately my mind is left in the dust as my actions run away with me. I don't take time to think things out. I just do. It's a horrible way to go about things, mainly because it is so dangerous to do without thought. I guess I'll learn the hard way right? I just hope I don't push any boundries and lose something I'm just gaining.
I guess I might not be the only one I'm surprising lately. I have a pretty good image of a few stunned faces blazed into my head. I don't want to give anybody the wrong idea, or do I? I'm not sure what I want anymore, what My thoughts mean and where I think I am going with .. things...
I've closed a few doors lately, and i'm not sure if i'll be reopening them. If i keep pushing I might get swept away with the rest of the current and end up in the middle of no where lost and confused, wishing I had someone to hold onto me.
prev / next