2004-07-10 - 12:03 a.m.
The sad realization that you are no longer the one people would like to talk to sinks in as you sit in a big comfy chair discussing how fucked up your child hood was with someone who doesn't realize how painful it is.
LIfe has turned into a sick game, and it keeps going like the dice have a billion sides and you have to roll a one in order to move. The longer it takes you to roll a one the more you fight with yourself on whether or not it is worth it. If you quit now, you don't have to keep rolling, but if you quit, where's the fun later when your sitting there staring off into space.
I guess when you get stripped of your meds, and the doctor decides she wants to think about trying something else things can get a little crazy. But wait! What if there MORE problems? What if you find out that your family thinks you don't respect them, and you spend more time telling your best friend you don't hate them than you do wondering if your best friend thinks your their best friend or if it's a one sided thing? I suppose we all have our little doubts, but perhaps it would be better if you quit doubting and started doing.
Life moves on so quickly that you don't have time to stop and smell the flowers anymore. And even if you did stop, the flowers would probably be dead because nobody takes care of them anymore. Oh well.. guess gardens are to hard to take care of anyways.
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