2004-11-09 - 9:26 p.m.
Blah blah blah. I'm sick of this layout so i'm going to try and find a new one. It always takes me days to find a new one. I look and look and look and try to find one that applys to me but I never can. Maybe I should just find that fucking website and learn how to do it myself... *sigh* Irrelevent.
I've had a considerably better week this two days into it. I think I like someone that I shouldn't.. I mean really shouldn't. Not only is he taken he's.. well it's just a no. But I can say it's the first.. i think real crush i've had in a while. Ick. The word crush sucks. It's so.. mean sounding. Or .. immature. LOL.. Immature. Yes I'm immature. Sure whatever. I hate that word. I hear it so fucking much. I'm sick of everybody thinking we're all so fucking immature. We just know how to have fun. We know how to look at things positivly no matter what. Fuck you all. We're cool and you suck.
*ahem* sorry. Random tangent. Back to the point. Wow, I'm kinda period happy today aren't I? Period here. Period there. Everywhere. a. period. period. No. I don't mean the period that makes you bleed. I mean this kind .........
Hmm.. SOmething else to talk about. I kinda wish I had somebody to talk to again. I used to. But something happened and now i'm just scared to tell anybody anything. It blows up in my face. every time. There are a few people that I coudl trust. I think. I just.. am scared to. Not to mention, I hate being the only one with the trust. I like to be trusted to. I almost want all the people who used to tell me things to start doing it again. You know? Just so I can feel like i'm important again. Or something like that.
I guess there are a lot of things I should feel important about. Of course, there's also the fact that I never feel important. SOmething having to do with low self esteem. Heh, oh well. Sucks anyways. I kinda wish sometimes that I could actually talk to the people that I want to talk to. I mean there are so many people that like.. seeeeem cool to talk to but then I start talking to them and I'm a complete idiot. LOL you know like, i confuse myself and just say the stupidest shit. They think i'm like.. a four year old or something. I would.. the way I act.
Period happy again. I think that'll be the title of this. Cause it could be fun. Hehe, I wonder if anybody I don't know reads this.. You know like people who I didn't give the link to. You never know ya know!!! Found out this other friend of mine has an account. I kinda wanted to try to find it. He's crazy and I think i'd like to know what he's thinking. The beauty of diary land is that you can say whatever you want on here and people see it and take it to heart.
So to everyone who reads it. A message for you because.. I think i owe you it, for .. different reasons:
I'm sorry.
Great. Now that that's over with, an update on my aunt.
They had to cut into her head. It's completely bald. Her mother is going to take her hair and get it made into a wig so taht when she is better she can wear it and not have to feel all.. bald. I thought that was sweet. The doctors advice:
She'll either die, Or wake up and be... a vegetable. Great.
Love you Erin.