2004-11-18 - 6:08 p.m.
FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK.. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK! I fucking hate all of you. You hate me to, so why do we play this stupid game where you pretend like it makes a difference that I'm there. I'm sick of pretending like I'm part of your "group" fuck you all!
Grr. Ok I'm being a bitch lately and I'm getting sick of it. I can't manage to stay nice for four fucking minutes. I try and like.. stay happy and peppy, but it just goes away. How the hell do you do it?
OH! Who likes to be suspended?! I don't! Luckly I won't have to know for sure. I was so fucking close. I wish i was smarter than I am. I can't believe I was such a fucking dumbass. "I think I'll pull out my knife and paint the handle pink! WHOO!" I'm gunna be in so much shit. I'm soo sick of worring about shit. Worry about drama, worry about grandparents, worry about grades, worry about discipline, worry worry worry. I HATE IT. It causes so much stress. I swear I was going to fucking pop a lung yesterday from holding my breath so goddamn long. Things have taken such a shitty turn. I hate it.
It's times like these that I really regret my decision to come here. To start over. What would it be like to live in a real family? Have real friends? All that wonderfully overrated stuff? Heh, truth? It's not over rated. You really miss it when you don't have it.