2004-12-12 - 1:26 a.m.
Whooh. Weirdddd day. not exactly sure what happened because it was so freaking weird. I do know I went to that play. The nutcracker. It was cute. Cool people doing their cool dancing. It made me wish I could dance.. I spent the entire thing.. comparing. . . I haven't played that game in a long time. It made me want to play other games again. It was weird.
Went to work. I was supposed to go to that stupid fucking party but they forgot about me. Made me feel o so wonderful.. heh, not that I didn't deserve it.
Been thinking about weird things lately.. Like future and what it would be like to have one with someone. My friend was telling me about how her and her boyfriend were discussing marraige and what it would be like to have kids together. heh, I couldn't ever go there. The future for me in a relationship would be sixmothns later still being able to stand the sound of his name.. let alone his voice.
I'm going to juneau on friday. I get to miss school and be out of town for two fucking weeeks. I hope I get paid before then. I kinda wanted to call scott and be like "give me my money biatch."
It was weird.. I read a book today. Only one, with a friend. It was pretty neat. He acted different, but good different.. I liked it. Too bad he's one of the ones who I want to keep as just a friend. He'd be cute if he wasn't so crazy. heh. I like that. Being able to know that I don't want to be with anybody.
I talked to my mother. She's being bitchy again. She's afraid that Kip and my Aunt are going to fall in love. I laughed my ass of when she told me she thought it could happen. I think she knew I was laughing at her, not at the idea. She is so fucking immature. It makes me feel good to know that onthe inside i've already matured more than she ever will. She will die poor and alone. At least I can say I'll die rich and alone. heh, that one made me laugh.
My hair is all stiff because it got slobbered on by like fiftey different people today. I also cut of chuncks of it for people. Lots of different people. It was weird. I had one of my crack days today. Where things started out good, went to bad.. went back to good went to bad went to goood again. LOL. Someon I thought had died showed up today. It was crazy. I was wearing his necklace. I don't really think of it as his anymore.. cause i've been wearing it so much, but I do still kinda wonder what he thinks whenever he sees me wearing it. heh. He probably laughs on the inside. I sure as hell doo.
It's funny. I'm funny. Ha ha ha. Sooo fucking funny. Grr. I don't try to make people laugh. Or like.. Or any of that business. I'm glad I've got one friend who I know will stay a friend.. He's kinda like.. my strong hold in a sense. He helps me see that not everything is a) fucked up and b) what it seems to be. Turns out he's the cfomplete opposite of what I'd made him out to be.
Tis cool.
I'm going to find a new layout tonight before I head to bed. I'm also going to unlock this. If that fucker wants to read this he can go right a head. Read his fucking heart out. BLAH.
prev / next