2004-12-14 - 11:06 p.m.
I've learned it, why can't he? Why can't he see that feelings like our need to be kept to ourselves. If we say things, only bad things happen. Hasn't he learned that yet? Hasn't he learned that if he keeps his mouth shut everything will work out and be ok and nobody will get hurt because nobody will know when you change your mind? Grr. You piss me off so fucking much, throwing around people emotions like they mean nothing.
You're so much like me it's not even funny. Only see this is how we are different: I TRY not to hurt people. i TRY not to pull people into my world of bullshit emotions that change every five and a half seconds. you say we are SOOO fucking different, but we're not. Leave people who know what they want, out of it. She deserves better than you ass hole. Back the fuck off.
ok, Now that I've gotten that off my chest. Lets move on to lesson two:
My day.
I don't know if that's a lesson so much as a point. *ahem* Let me correct myself. On to POINT two:
I am so fucking confused right now. Have you ever had three phonecalls in one day each one making you want to be pulled into a different life? One from someone who is family, one from someone who changed your life, and one from somebody who had the power to change your life? Surely you have? Grr. I have. I hate it. I don't know what i was supposed to think. I felt like a different person when talking to each of them. Felt like none of them knew the other side of me. The side that is.. just.. here because she has to be. I wanted to combine them all into one conversation so they could see how I really am. Fucked up, confused, split. GOD. I'm such a dumbass.