2005-03-10 - 4:09 a.m.
Back again. Guess why. Heh, guessing games. Those are fun. I think I was talking about this the other day.. with him. Yeah... See when things get to going too well.. I know that there's something bad that's going to happen. Something really really shitty is just going to pop out of no where, slap me in the face 'till i bleed, then pop back to the hell it came from.
Bam. Here it is. I know you're probably thinking "whats the big deal? He drinks all the time. He knows what he's doing." BUT HE DOESN'T. He... he loses so much control. Not in the sense that other people lose control but in the ... I really don't know what I'm doing where I'm going or even who I'm looking at sort of losing control. It scares me. It scares me so fucking bad.
Grr. I'm going to stop talking about this now. Cause.. I feel pretty shitty. Let's talk about this weekend. Another drama and debate trip. Cool huh? I'll get to do my dorky little mime and hang out with all my coool drama friends and preform the Di that I still don't have memorized the right way... and... I'll get to sit and know FOR A FACT that my boyfriend has a place to stay, food, and no beer, booze, or alcohol of any kind.
Is that bad? Is it bad to be happy that he's going to jail? Not happy just.. comforted. Comforted in the sense that I know while I'm gone he isn't thinking "Ooh, the bitch is gone I'm gunna go get wasted!"
Who knows. God. Iddiot.LOL. Yeah. Had a great time at TOPS today. NOT. It wa so fucking gay. I was there for an entire day and STILL have no idea what's going on. Is that bad? Yeah probably. Samantha was there. Samantha is Chris' ex. Tiny, short, pretty, nonvirginal. LOL. Yeah. THat's his fault though. Omg. I got--- grrr... FUCK YOU ASS HOLE.
Heh, Rage. Ok, two entries back to back two minutes apart about the same thing... not cool. I"m going to go lay down and try to sleep now. Sleep is good. It... clears your head.
prev / next