2005-04-15 - 10:48 p.m.
It's been like two days and I'm ready to go home. Things here suck so much ass. I want to be home with my family and my room and my wet air and my boyfriend and my friends.. and all the other things that make me happy.
Don't get me wrong. Anchorage is great.. it's.. big and... big and.. the air is dry and the water is.. gross and the people.. hey the people are nice. But it's nto home. I want home. So bad. LOL. I seriously don't think i've ever had a case of homesicknesses. I've always been soo pepped to be out of town away from the pressures and demands of everyday life. Not that my life demands that much of me.. but you get it.
I miss my theatre. and Chris. I miss chris a lot. It's crazy. I worry about him though. I worry a lot. Is he spending all of his nights just... getting wasted and throwing whatever we've worked on out the window? I mean.. seriously. I know that sounds really super crazy or... stupid or something immature and annoying like that... but seriosly It's how i feel. I feel like he's going to take this chance to do what he misses. What he wants to do. "She's out of town what difference does it make?" Right? I mean... seroiusly does he even really want to quit? God I wonder sometimes. But i'll be ok. He's called a couple times and I know when I get home things will be right and happy and good. So i'll just wait. and try to get over the lonely and sick feeling I've got that won't leave me alone.
There's something i haven't written about. Something I'm not going to write about, just... it's bugging me. Cause I want to tell you all but I don't. I don't want you to know how badly I might have fucked up. How badly I'm going to be paying for just... God I dont' know. We'll see in a few days how I feel about it and if I want you to know. I'm just scared. A lot. We'll see...
I bought another little journal. I went to hot topic. It was fun but all i got was this tshirt. It was fun. I had the best time in the book store. Tons of things minimum sick feelings... which was good. *sigh* I'm going to retreat to my hotel room. Oh yeah. I'm in a hotel. ON a hotel computer. COOOLL!!! Hah. Kinda. OK
sleep is good. It makes you feel less sick.
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