2005-10-20 - 1:33 p.m.
Things have calmed down quite a bit. You wouldn't believe how hectic they managed to get. I was just barely holding on to the precious bit of sanity that I had managed to save up. I have never felt more like quitting everything, than I have as of late.
Don't get me wrong. I've never been a quitter. I figure if your going to start something you might as well see it out to the bitter end. Who knows if you'll ever get the chance to do it again, Ya know? Lately though, lately things have just seemed so trivial and pointless. There are so many people who used to be in my life, and now I don't see them.
I've changed. I've changed a lot. No matter how hard I try and tell myself that I haven't, that everything is exactly the same... I know it's not true. SOoo Instead of quitting everything, I've comprimised.
A comprimise helps you trick yourself into believing you're getting what you want. See, really you're just jipping yourself that extra bit of everything, really you are only getting half of what you want. But that's ok. I'll live. Half is better than not at all.
To those of you who read this, and I haven't talked to in ... forever, this is for you:
I'm sorry. I know there are not enough words out there to put into a stupid little journal entry to tell you, show you, explain to you what happened to me. Life just took a hold of me and it was to late for me to get away. Just know that at least I'm noticing it. I'm noticing, and working, to make things right. I love you guys so much, and even if it might not seem like it right now, you do mean something to me, and you always will.